so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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