Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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