I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
