Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize
