these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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