its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
He kissed a someone with a penis
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
