9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
