It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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