Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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