and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
