she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
