they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
