What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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