there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
