I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
That accounts for only three of the penises
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
