like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
