Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
