tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
high people should be assigned attendants
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize
