Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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