matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
