the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
