summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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