can we get nightvision for the apartment?
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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