That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
