Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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