Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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