This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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