Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
