Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize