I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
i think my cat just said my name.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize