How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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