Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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