i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
