At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
