My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
