you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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