when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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