Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
