I think my fart just growled at me.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
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