dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
