The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
