we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Randomize
