I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
