:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
kristin has been a bad kristin
he wants to bone in the snuggie
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
