They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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