just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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