he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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