I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
