That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Randomize
