5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
