I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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