i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
