i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
