remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize