2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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