i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Randomize
