Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
