i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
