I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
