girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
