I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
