Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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