These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Someone came in the potted fern
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
